Tolerance is the quality and power of enduring thoughts and sentiments, contents, judgments, impressions, and anything that isn’t primarily yours.
In a pluralistic society, it is key and important that tolerance not be underestimated. It should be taught and valued because we are antithetical and dissimilar.
We should know that being tolerant doesn’t mean that your anger is repressed or camouflaged, and that confrontation isn’t the lack of tolerance. We must completely understand this two so as to strike the much needed balance.
Someone said that “constructively expressed hurt and anger is much better than repressed or camouflaged anger. Failing to deal constructively with anger may in the long run destroy anything good between persons.”
Anger repression squelches feelings, first by unresolving emotions and then malice. Eventually malice could lead to retaliation. Retaliation could also lead to physical assault or death. Before it gets to this, it is Copernican that we learn how to tolerate one another.
First we must come to terms with the fact that everyone is unique in his or her own way. Sometimes ago, I decided to develop an adaptive feature for listening to people I won’t like to call fools. I’m a person that gets easily irritated by sensitive discussions dealt in ways that is below my height of reasoning. In past I was miffed by substandards. I had to understand that we all effuse characters and statements based on circumstances, influences, education, level of reasoning, logical thoughts, background, religion, cerebration, exposure and several other things which most times are beyond our control.
I wanted to stop and consciously grow up again, as is my usual habit. I had grown from showing my intolerance and irritation in an aggressive way to being a little bit reserved and diplomatic. So one cold morning I meditated on how I could upgrade and ameliorate certain aspects of my life, my tolerance level inclusive. I do that more often than Whatsapp Inc. At first, I thought about not paying attention to stuffs that irritate me, but it’s a zodiac quality. As a Capricorn, I’m honest, I’m blunt, and just so you’ll know, I’m a diehard lover, and a loyalist in any relationship. That meant I couldn’t escape voicing out when I agree but most importantly, when I disagree. After my long thoughtfulness, I came up with something that’ll help me, and you in relating even during arguments. ’Nobody is foolish, heights of reasoning, depths of thoughts, our sights, our temperance, our maturity just differs’ I said to myself. Friends of a different school of thought and POV have raised objections. Recently a friend in other to support his claim and prove me wrong said ‘if no one is foolish, no one is wise’. I didn’t reply then, but now I will. Perhaps we’ve been used to words and antonyms in our primary and secondary school days; we think every positive ‘must have’ a negative. There must be good and bad, just has there is light and darkness. LOL. The night isn’t dark, the moons light isn’t just as bright as the sun. Since I configured myself to think like this, I have accommodated everybody, I have become a better listener, and I have seen no one as a fool because I have been able to empathize.
I have come up with tips that’ll help in building our tolerance levels
1. Own yours:
If we want to be tolerant, we must know and always recognize that our thoughts, actions, and beliefs are ours. We can’t then force it on others, no matter what. Just as we practice self-mastery in our lives, others have sovereignty over theirs too.
2. Check your ego:
Often times, people tend to disrupt our flow. When we are disturbed, we might nurse retaliation because a mental or emotional line has been crossed and therefore we feel frustrated. The inner tension may be our ego showing anger. We must remember that we aren’t our ego, but its source. By recognizing this we can caution ourselves and cultivate the ability to limit the importance of some feelings.
Meditation can help cultivate tolerance. By purposefully calming our spirits, especially when angered and crossed, we can check ourselves before reacting. Meditation should be a routine, then and only then will we begin to react with more grace, patience and thoughtfulness and deliver the best version of ourselves.
4. We must remember that change is imminent:
Our world is always changing and as such everything has its moment to be. We change from one moment to the next. This dynamism can be seen as a blessing when cultivating tolerance. No matter how annoying and pestering anything and anyone can be, it’s very temporal.
5. Use your power:
About few months back, I wrote an article that won me the opportunity of lecturing intellectuals and the grace of being interviewed at an online radio titled ‘We are gods but not God. As gods we have the power to control how much an annoyance affects us. We have to put aside our emotional reactions while dealing with frustrating experiences and always try and see the good in a person or situation.
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