Written by: Maiyaki Abubakar Damilare

I was lying gently in the middle of my bed when provoking thoughts of potential perdition came through.
As I lingered through the minutes, I couldn’t hold back the tears that was flowing freely on my cheeks. When I remembered my past, it was full of sins. I have been living a miserable life.

Although looking critically at the journey, I realized God’s plan for me. But I had my options.
I chose the kind of life I wanted, I didn’t care about the consequences.

Just to remember but a few !
Of the lies that I told,
Of the wayward path that I chose,
The lovers that I jilted and all the future that I was set to shatter. Maybe only the Devil could have done better.
I was a beast !

Now, I want to change my ways. Looking at the personal and general damages, I want to turn a new life. But then, my dilemma remains a barrier.
My dilemma is one too many, too terrible and unbearable.
As I plan to be a changed soul, echoes of rhetoric hoops through, my ears.
Can I ever get it right again ?
Is it possible to fly out of my past ?
What would people say ?
What about the irreversible ?
Or is it that I was destined to be a Vandal ?
Could my existence be serving a purpose of condemnation ?

So all those questions spurred my mind as I trembled remorsefully. Out of uncertainty, I rose off the bed, reached for the toilet. And as I was trying to pass out urine, I saw my image on the broken mirror which was hung not ‘quite perfectly’. But at least I could see through the reflection, a boy looking rough on a cool morning with his hair, unkempt and his shirt tattered.
Opening my mouth, I could see the gluey spit.
Thus a perfect description of a psychiatric patient.

But I took something away from that unplanned scene. I thought of putting the mirror in shape, or better still, replace it. Subsequently, I should wash the whole toilet. After that decision, I went before the room’s mirror, stretched my hands at it to see my long fingernails. Finally, I concluded that I would clean up !

I looked up to see the broken walls, I should mend it. I should fix everything.
Oh, so I can actually fix these things.
Interesting !

Maybe I can get the wheel of my life back on track.
Maybe I can, who knows ?
Maybe I can rebuild the castle of my bright future.
Just like I will clean up myself, comb my hair, mend the broken walls and change the broken mirror, maybe I can rejuvenate my potentials and gifts.
Since my life is just like a tattered cloth,
Yes I can !

Like my miserable life,
Like my bad attitude,
Like my low G.P,
Like my present predicament,
All are like my tattered cloth.
I can mend it !
I can do it !
I can get it right again !

Leave a Reply